


Reunion

by Anny_Rudolph



Series: Kayllish Shepard [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/F, Fluffy and angsty, Panic Attacks, together but not together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-04-10 08:17:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4384262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anny_Rudolph/pseuds/Anny_Rudolph
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Shepard found out Liara was on Illium, she ran. And Garrus and Tali let her, because they knew the commander needed it - needed her. When Liara found out Shepard was alive and docking at Illium, she didn't know what to expect. But she certanly wasn't expecting this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reunion

**Author's Note:**

> Hello guys! I finally succumbed to Mass Effect. Been playing it non stop, endind the first two games in two weeks. This one is my response to the reunion between Shepard and Liara on 2 - they had so much potential with that scene, especially if the Shepard was romancing Liara on 1. Yes, they did better on the LotSB DLC, but still... Anyway, Shep is so strong on the game, that my headcannon is that they have some issues the game doesn't show. So... Trigger warning for panic attacks. Not sure if I conveyed them right, but I only had my experience to speak of.  
> Oh, by the way, Kayllish Shepard is a Paragon with a bit of Renegade colonist survivor. So, there's that.  
> Enjoy!

"Liara's here?"

"Yes. Her office is overlooking the trading floor."

Kayllish didn't need to hear it twice. She ran as fast as she could to her lover's office, leaving Tali and Garrus behind. They both glanced at each other before running after their commander.

Shepard opened the door of the office, panting, and the first thing she saw was Liara. Nothing else mattered at the moment, and when she turned, the specter lost all the air in her lungs. She gave a tentative first step, and when the asari started to speak with her assistant, Kay broke into a short run, enveloping the broker into her arms. She couldn't help when all the tears she's been holding off on the Normandy came, and soon she was sobbing, holding to Liara for her dear life. Soon, she felt the asari hugging her back, albeit tentatively.

"Shepard...?" Liara called, as soon as the sobs stated, but received no response. She tried again. "Kay...?"

"You're alive. You're alive, and fine, and here and I can't..." She released the asari, and took a step away. "Oh my god, Liara, I just... I'm sorry, I shouldn't... You probably mo..." But the human was cut short with a kiss from the blue alien. For a moment, Kayllish was still, thinking it was all a dream. It wouldn't be the first time. But then she felt, really felt Liara's lips on hers, their bodies close, and all she could do was respond with the same intensity Liara was kissing her. The kiss broke off slowly, neither of the parties wanting it to end.

"I haven't. I couldn't. But you're here now." The asari said, holding their foreheads together. Kayllish gave her a watery smile, and soon more tears were falling down her face.

"I am. I'm sorry." She closed her eyes. "I lo..." But that was all she could get out before she collapsed in her lover's arms. As soon as Liara noticed this, she started to panic, holding the commander while going down to the floor. "No, no, no.. Shepard? Kayllish, Kay, stay with me. What's wrong? Kay?"

"She's just asleep." Said Tali, from the door. "Is good to see you again, Liara."

Soon Garrus came following. "Tali, what...?" He asked, regaining his breath. Then he saw an unconscious Shepard in the arms of Liara and sighed. "Finally. Good thing we found you, Liara. How you've been?"

"Wha...? Tali? Garrus? What's happening?" Asked the asari, trying to find a more comfortable position to hold the unconscious human. Garrus noticed this and helped Liara up, putting a sleeping Shepard on the chair.

"We're here to find some people, but for the look of it, it might take a while." He said, adjusting Kay in the chair. "She's completely out. About time, I say." 

Tali, seeing the confused look on her old friend's face, explained. "She's having trouble sleeping. Some nights she just can't. Others... Well, she once woke the entire crew with her screams. And other things too." The quarian said in a tone that made it clear she wouldn't say everything until they were in a secure location.

"You should drop by the Normandy if you wanna know." Stated Garrus. "In fact... I think we should go now. Unless you're willing to have an unconscious spectre on your office chair."

Liara looked at her screen and at Shepard. She sighed. "Ok, let's go."

 

When they arrived at the Normandy, they headed straight to captain's quarters. Garrus put Kayllish on her bed, and the three of them sat at the sofa, as doctor Chakwas examined her.

"Everything is fine. She just exhausted. Should be awaking in a couple of hours." She stood and gave Liara a pointy look. "You should be here when she wake up. I might worsen her condition if you're not." And with that, she was gone.

"What... Condition?" She asked her old squad mates.

"She's been taking antidepressants." Said Garrus. "And sometimes have panic attacks."

"She throws herself into battle just to concentrate and forget. Sometimes being on the Normandy is too much for her, and she just... Lock up in here until we're at some place new or at somewhere she can shoot our enemies." Whispered Tali. "The crew said it was worse before I joined, but still... And the nightmares... They are the worst. I've never heard her screaming like that Liara, and they're all..."

"Your name, mostly." Completed Garrus. "Sometimes there are other names of the crew, but not as loud. It's not like she can't fight, she can, but when she does it's just... I don't know. Lifeless?"

"I think robotic would be a better term." Said the quarian. "It's awful, seeing her this way. And she tries to hide and be the old commander, she puts on a mask... But every time we're on somewhere familiar, she has a panic attack. Most of us don't even notice anymore, she's so good at hiding it. But EDI always knows, and she started to give us a warning in those cases."

"Why...? What happened to her...?" Asked Liara, a more rhetorical question than anything.

"Besides dying, you mean?" Said Garrus. "I don't know. Chambers said it could be a number os reasons, because... We could only think we lost her, but the thing is... She lost us too. And she may not remember these past two years, but I think that's part of the problem. There isn't a single thing here that's familiar to her. Except us, but we've changed too."

"I think..." Started Tali, tentatively. "You guys kissed, right? That gave her some kind of relief. That at least something was still intact. That's when she fell asleep. That's why doctor Chakwas told you to stay. If she wakes up and think this was all a dream..." Tali stayed silent, glancing at Shepard. Garrus sighed.

"At least she can rest for now." He looked at the silent asari. "You should stay. Take a night off. Use Shepard's computer for any pressing matters you have. We're not leaving Illium, don't worry."

Liara just nodded, her eyes never leaving Kayllish. Garrus and Tali stood and walked out of the chambers in silence. The asari sighed and walked to the bed, kneeling beside Kayllish. The human was sleeping somewhat peacefully, but with a frown on her face. Liara brushed some stray hairs from her face, and the moment she touched Shepard, the frown vanished. She stayed there, watching her lover sleep until a beep from her omni tool took her out of her trance. She glanced at her omni tool, sighed, and got off to Shepard's computer.

 

Kayllish woke with a jump, panting. She shouldn't be asleep. She was with Liara. They just kissed, they were talking. No, it couldn't have been a dream, it was too much, too... A movement beside Shepard made her jump, but when she saw who it was, a giant relief wave overcame her. The asari was asleep on their bed, just like old times. A big smile spread over Shepard's face, and she couldn't help but wake the asari with thousand little kisses on her face. Liara woke with a start, but relaxed as she saw Kayllish.

"Good morning Li."

"Good morning yourself." She said, sitting on the bed. "I didn't collapse while talking because I wasn't getting enough sleep. You really had me worried, Kay."

The frown came back to the spectrer's face. "I'm... Sorry. I shouldn't have-"

"You should have talked to someone." Liara cut her. "Said something."

"I... Couldn't." Liara gave Kayllish the 'bullshit' look, and that broke the commander's resolve. "They didn't die, ok? They don't know how it feels, when the breath is slipping away and all you could think is how it's not enough, how I'm breaking promises I should be able to keep. I should have done more, I thought. Should have saved them all. We could have had a shore leave, I don't know. Anything to not be there. We deserved it. And then the attack and fire, explosions, and everything was a blur, our tripulation dying, and then you came and Joker wouldn't leave and I was sure we were gonna survive but everything exploded and my suit broke and I should have told you." She was starting to say things in an alarming speed, and probably starting to have a panic attack. "I should have told you I love you, but then I come back two years later and I wasn't supposed to be alive but I am and everything is different but I shouldn't be here stupid stupid stupid I left you guys alone, how stupid could I be, and I left you I left you when I promised I wouldn't I left and you guys left and everything is the same but so different and I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't be alive but I am and what am I supposed to do with it cause I don't have anything anymore!" She was hyperventilating, tears starting to stream down her face. Kay pushed herself into a fetal position, and it broke Liara's heart - again, and more than the asari imagined it could. Her sobs were heart wrenching, and she barely gave herself time to breath. Kayllish was starting to feel light headed when Liara cupped her cheeks, forcing the human to look into the asari's eyes. "I... Left... And you guys... Left me... And nothing is... Nothing is... Right anymore... I'm not... Part... Of the galaxy... I'm not... Good... I should... Be dead but... I don't want... And it hurts... So much... It's Mindoir... And Akuze... All over... And this time... I fucked up! I failed... You lost me... And I lost you... Because of it..." She was beginning to faint when she felt the pressure on her mind indicating Liara had started a meld, and Kayllish didn't have the strength to fight it. So she let her partner feel her fear, her guilt and her despair. But the reaction she received was unforeseen. Shepard was washed away by a wave of warmth, love and forgiveness, and something that was just... Liara. She could feel to the anger towards the universe and the pain of two years of grief in the back of her partners mind, but Kay was so stressed she just basked in everything Liara was giving her. And somehow, that calmed her enough to start breathing again. Liara helped through the meld, synchronizing their breaths, whispering calming words in Kayllish's mind. It took some minutes for the commander calm down totally, but her head was starting to be at ease again.

"This is your place, Shepard." Said Liara, using her voice and the bond. "This is exactly where you should be. Not dead, or in some forsaken corner of the galaxy, but here. The galaxy needs you. I... Garrus, Tali, we need you. And what does it matter if everything is different? Everything was different after Mindoir, after Akuze, after Sovereing. You survived. You, Kayllish. And you're gonna do it again. Even if you think you are alone, which you're not. You have your crew. The Normandy. Joker, Tali, Garrus... They are all here."

Kayllish sniffed and nodded. "And you?"

Liara stiffed and retreated the meld. "I..."

Kayllish noticed when this happened and closed her eyes, waiting for the rejection. "Say it. I... I need to know, Liara."

The asari sighed. "I can't be here, I have things in Illium I need to do, projects I need to finish, but... Whenever you need me, I'll... I'll be there." She paused, giving the human the chance to look at her, which the she did. "You haven't lost me. You haven't lost any of us."

"Promise?" Asked Kayllish, with de vulnerability of a child. Liara smiled.

"Cross my heart." She said, using the old earth expression Kay taught her once and crossing her heart. Shepard smiled and yawned, and Liara took it as her cue. "Now, I need to go and you need to sleep some more."

"No I don't." Said the human.

"Yes you do." Kayllish opened her mouth to protest, but Liara cut her short. "Don't worry, we'll see each other again soon. I recon you have some work to do on Illium, and I could give you some info in that. Now rest, Shepard"

"'Kay..." She said, getting comfortable in bed again. "G'night, Li..."

"Good night, Shepard..." Said the asari, observing her love falling asleep. Then, when she was certain Kayllish was asleep, she completed, stepping out of the room. "And... I'm sorry."


End file.
